4 Lessons I Learned From My Self-Love Journey
- Shiann Singleton
- Mar 18
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 19

Self-love is not just a trend; it’s the foundation for how we experience life and how others treat us. My journey toward self-love has taught me valuable lessons that have reshaped the way I see myself and the world around me. If you’re struggling with self-worth, confidence, or setting boundaries, I hope my lessons help you along your own path.
1. You Set the Standard for How Others See You
If you don’t value yourself, no one else will. The way you perceive yourself influences how others perceive you. If you believe you are unworthy, unattractive, or incapable, that energy will reflect outward, and people will respond to you accordingly.
Instead of focusing on your flaws, start visualizing the best version of yourself daily. Your self-image directly impacts your confidence and presence in the world. When you see yourself as worthy, strong, and beautiful, others will too. The key is to believe it first.
2. Stop Settling—You Deserve More
Settling for less than you deserve leads to a life of unfulfilling experiences. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal growth, having no standards means accepting whatever comes your way—even if it doesn’t serve you.
Raise your standards. Demand more from life and from the people around you. But most importantly, require yourself to show up for you. Honor your needs, set boundaries, and don’t be afraid to ask for more. The person who expects better receives better.
3. Be Yourself, Not a Copy of Someone Else
In a world full of influencers and celebrities, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to become someone else. You might hear advice to create an alter ego or mimic a person you admire. While self-improvement is great, trying to be someone else sends the message that you, as you are, aren’t enough—and that’s simply not true.
Instead of trying to be someone else, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. The best version of you is the one who pursues their goals, embraces their uniqueness, and steps into their confidence without comparison.
4. Practice Self-Love Through the Five Love Languages
Self-love isn’t just about affirmations and bubble baths (though those are great too!). It’s about actively showing up for yourself. One of the best ways to do this is by practicing the five love languages on yourself:
• Words of Affirmation – Speak kindly to yourself. Say positive affirmations and celebrate your wins, big or small.
• Quality Time – Spend time alone doing things that bring you joy. Date yourself, reflect, and engage in hobbies you love.
• Acts of Service – Do things that make your life easier, whether it’s meal prepping, cleaning your space, or setting up a self-care routine.
• Receiving Gifts – Treat yourself! It doesn’t have to be expensive—buy yourself flowers, a book, or something that makes you smile.
• Physical Touch – Care for your body. Whether it’s through skincare, stretching, or simply resting, show yourself the love you deserve.
Practicing self-love through these languages helps reinforce that you are worthy of love and care—especially from yourself.
Final Thoughts
Loving yourself is a journey, not a destination. Some days will be easier than others, but the most important thing is to remain committed to your growth. See yourself in the highest light, demand more from life, embrace who you are, and love yourself in the ways you desire to be loved. The more you pour into yourself, the more you’ll attract the love and respect you truly deserve.
Are you currently on a self-love journey? What lessons have you learned along the way? Let’s chat in the comments!





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